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2001-07-29 - 10:56 p.m. Through a random series of channel flips, I ended up tonight on VH1, watching the Bon Jovi show that happened last night at Giant stadium. When I was in junior high, I went to see JBJ at Meadowlands, fourth row center, with my best friend at the time. I also saw them at Giant Stadium, down in the general admission, standing in the hot sun on the field – getting watered down by fire hoses and seeing JBJ moon the crowd from his press box. I know that I’ve probably lost the respect of many of my friends by just admitting that I, in fact, am a HUGE fan of Bon Jovi. I don’t care. Hearing these songs again on VH1 shocked me into reality of sorts. I know that sounds strange, but hear me out. I thought back to that kid, a metal head at Scarsdale Junior High School, and realized that I’ve wasted so much time. Last night, I could have been at Giant Stadium having a great time, but instead I cleaned my apartment, read, and went to bed early. So, in a way, I’ve had a life-changing moment of sorts because of Bon Jovi and VH1—I really do need to get a life. So, tomorrow, in addition to getting a Superman t-shirt (it’s a Bon Jovi thing), I’m setting out to start the following things in my life: 1. Start to write the children’s book I’ve been meaning to write for the past three years. 2. Get a job – anything. A waitress job, retail. I don’t want a business job anymore—nine to five doesn’t suit me. But, I may have to enter the rat race at some point again in order to pay off what I owe to the student loan people, but since no one is getting a job they like in the rat race right now, I can settle for making a bit above minimum wage in order to keep my sanity/focus on life. 3. Get back into training—which I have taken a break from for the past two weeks. 4. Eat three normal meals a day—in order to keep the energy I’m going to need to complete 1-3. 5. Look more actively into becoming a NYC school-teacher. Okay. That should do it for now. And friends, I’m sorry if you don’t respect my music taste—but JBJ is the one for me. Plain and simple. In addition to cleaning my apartment last night, I dyed my hair. In order to save some money (it costs upward of $250 to get my highlights done), I figured I could do it. Wrong. The package said I’d have light-blonde hair at the end. I am now a light redhead. It’s not THAT bad, just different. I haven’t decided if I’m going to get rid of it yet. I know it’ll wash out in a few weeks, and my natural blonde (yes, I’m really a natural, just a bit darker than I’ve purported to be) will grow in. Who knows. Today I went downtown to walk around aimlessly with Swerdloff. Had a great time, got a small blister from my flip-flops. But we were sitting in Tompkin’s Square Park and an odd thing happened. Swerd was witness to an odd pattern I’ve been noticing. A baby in a carriage stared at me—while she was approaching us, in front of us, and until she was out of site. This has been happening to me a lot lately. A kid in Barnes and Noble stopped in her tracks and stared. She wouldn’t say anything—just stared. And then yesterday, at my parent’s, a two year old girl and her older sister were racing, and she just stopped, mid-race, and stared at me. She wouldn’t let go of my gaze. In both cases, I kept looking away, trying to get them to look at something else, and it didn’t work! I’d look down, up, over, whatever, and when I’d look back, they were still looking at me. Just odd. I don’t know what it means. As Swerdloff suggested, maybe I’m supposed to be in children’s television. That wouldn’t be so bad.
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