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2001-06-01 - 10:33 p.m. New York City is so strange. There are all these single people living in this urban jungle, trying to win at the game of “Finding a Mate”. It’s amazing that CBS hasn’t picked up on the reality show happening in the bars on NYC streets. Sorry, random thought based on conversations had with a coworker. I had a doctor’s appointment last night – with a shrink. It went well—she was a hard ass woman. “So, get up early and go running if you want to do something with your life. You’re a young and pretty girl. Don’t waste your life.” When a shrink says that to you, it sucks. It’s like that friend that you have that you really hate because he/she is able to put a mirror up in front of you and you don’t like what you see. Due to her recommendation of medicine, I called my old psychiatrist, the first doctor I ever saw—until I started seeing her, I was “normal”. I didn’t need any professional help—one of the kids from Scarsdale that made it through without therapy. It was like calling an ex-boyfriend. Strange. I wanted her advice on something, but I also wanted her approval. The voicemail she left me in response included the statement, “…it’s good to hear from you…”—that statement hit me like it would if an ex had said it. This woman saved me in some respects (not like any boy I’ve dated, so that’s a bit different, now that I think about it), she helped me so much. Helped me create a wonderful relationship with my parents. Helped me believe more in myself. Helped me realize and accept many things about myself. And I don’t know if she knows how much she affected me. But what do you do in this type of a relationship? Send a thank you note? I could never be a therapist for that very reason—I don’t think you really gain recognition. But I may just be naïve. If a doctor performs a life-threatening surgery and the patient comes out fine, there are limitless “thank you’s” that follow. What about the hundreds of therapists/psychiatrists in the Tri-State area alone that save people? Anyway, I’m on more drugs, I’m dealing with life and I’m waiting for a special visit that will most likely leave me more lonesome than ever.
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