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2001-06-18 - 10:52 p.m. So I’ve been laid off. And I haven’t felt this relieved in years. There is a fear, looming back there in my head that I may have to move back in with my parents or something because there’s no regular paycheck. BUT, this is the kick in the ass I really needed to get my life in order. My time in advertising is over—at least I hope so. This is the start of another chapter in my life. Also, realized that June is just NOT a good month for me—I was laid off last year at the same time from my short stint at a dot-com. But then I was able to jump right back to the old job I’d had. There was no time to think about where I wanted to go. I got right back on the same horse. I felt that I had to have a job to define my life. Being out of work has made me realize how stagnant my life had become. I was spending the majority of my time on this planet doing something that I didn’t like, barely believed in, and wasn’t learning anything quite life-changing. It’s funny what people do when you tell them you’re laid off. My friends, most of them, were so worried that I’d be upset or something. And were surprised that I was taking it so well. My shrink was surprised I was handling it so well. Now, no doubts, I am worried about money, and all the obvious issues that come with being out of work. But there is some huge weight that has been lifted off my shoulders, and the weight of financial security, as important as it is to me, doesn’t equal the weight my job had become. I had a very special houseguest this week, that was able to take my mind off of the obvious major event in my life. This week was a roller coaster of emotions, from the elation of orgasm to the anger and depression of low self-esteem. . I knew what I was getting into by having my friend stay with me—all the emotion that would go with it. I was shocked into reality by a really good friend of mine, who pointed out what I deserved in life, and what I should expect from others. I also had one of those nights when you hang out with friends and in the course of an evening you are laughing so hard you almost pee in your pants and the next moment you’re discussing religion and politics. God, it was a good night. I need more of those. Having someone live in my house for a week made me realize something—I don’t want to live with someone right now. Which made me realize that I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. So, as much as I’ve been bitching and moaning to all my friends (and here) about dating, I never wanted it anyway. Right now I want my energy to go somewhere other than all that is involved in a relationship. To writing, to figuring out where I go from here, to getting my ass in shape for the races I have coming up, and so forth. Funny thing did happen to me today. The process for applying for an unemployment claim is about as nightmarish as trying to rent an apartment here in this fine city. You call a 1-888 number, you press a HELL of lotta buttons answering questions—the thing actually shut down when I was almost done with the procedure. Then you wait. And wait. And wait for an operator. I finally got in touch with a nice woman, and began to give her my information – who my employer was, etc. As I told her where I’d been working, she suddenly started chuckling, and interjected, “Yeah, I know where that place is—I’ve been getting calls from you people all day.” There were 20 people laid off with me—and I just find it quite humorous that we all got redirected to the same damn woman…well, it was funny to me anyway. So, anyone have ideas of what kind of job I’d be good at?
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