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2001-09-04 - 6:29 p.m. I’m in pain. Physically pained. This weekend I ran in the biggest half marathon in the history of the world – 15,000 runners. 13.1 miles! I did it…this was one of the most amazing things I’ve done in my life. In April I signed up for this – pledged to raise $2,700 with Team Courage for Cancer. I was gainfully employed at this point, and had no worries about the money. Then I was laid off. Where the hell to get the money? I found it, but it was a VERY slow process—all the time I was freaking out about not making that goal, worried that I’d have to front my own non-existent money to make it there. I started to train despite my no-structure, no-income life. I was doin’ pretty well, until I hit a wall of depression and stopped. I ran maybe once a week. Tops. I eventually made it to my money goal, but stressed over getting over that godforsaken finish line without the training. Not to mention having to wake up at 4:30AM to get to the start line after I’ve been going to sleep at that time. But last Friday I got on a plane by myself, all packed up and ready to go, and went to Virginia beach. I fell asleep on the plane, but awoke to a conversation that was brewing behind me between two fellow New Yorkers who were also on my team. Over the past three days I made a couple really good friends from New York The hotel was right on the beach, the weather was fabulous. I got up at 4:30AM, before the moon set, ate a Powerbar in the morning twilight, reminisced about crew days, thought about the fact that my friends in LA and SF were probably still out on their Saturday nights. I put on my new shorts and laced up my sneakers and got on the bus. The run was really hard, but a beautiful course. I ran a full 10 miles before I allowed myself to walk a bit. Except for when the water stations showed up – I haven’t mastered the “run and drink” skill yet. There were people with hoses at the water stations – made me feel like I was at an outdoor rock concert. And it was in a way – there were live bands along the route, and cheerleading squads. And people cheering us all along…I felt so important, even though I was only one in a sea of runners. I was able to see the women leaders too – they were looping back around when my group was heading into part of the course. It was so amazing to see these powerful women race along with motorcycles leading the way. We all cheered and screamed. But I did it. I made it across the finish line in two hours and twenty-eight minutes. I made it even though I had never run that far a distance in my life. Everything else was a blur. There were so many people and it was so hot. Once I stopped the race I couldn’t control my body – my legs were confused as to why the hell we stopped. I hung out on the beach the rest of the day and then passed out cold for four hours in my room. I woke up Monday and couldn’t move – even couldn’t go to the bathroom without grunting and groaning. I still hurt, have problems walking up stairs, have an awful sunburn on my back and no aloe in the apartment, but I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. I can do it.
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