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2001-04-27 - 3:38 p.m. So, last night I have a date with the guy I get fluttery about. He takes me to Haru on the east side - I suggested it. Love that place, the sushi is just sooooooo good. Anyways, he's late. I'm really getting the feeling that I actively search out people who don't necessarily treat me as if I'm top priority. Granted, I've been on two dates now with him, so I don't expect to be #1 in his life, but I think it's indicative of the pattern that will emerge if we get into a relationship. Crap. He's late, so I meander around the block I'm on - Haru is on 77th and 3rd. Within walking distance of my apartment, but WORLDS away from where I live. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. There was a shoe store and two clothing stores on the same block. So, I figure I'll catch up on some shopping, right? First I head into a trendy jeans/t-shirt store - I want a new pair of jeans. NEVER EVER GO JEANS SHOPPING RIGHT BEFORE A DATE. Trust me. Man or woman, it's not a good idea - especially since you know you've gained a little weight in the rear area. A) the store didn't have any size above an 8 and B) I couldn't get those over my thighs. I have to get to the gym. But, the twilight zone really hit when I walked into the other clothing store. This store was for the uptown woman - complete with checked pants being sold for $100's of dollars, and cute little dresses to wear to husband's client dinners or out on the yacht with Biffy. I almost fainted. Then, the shoe store. No shoe in there was under $200, and they were all designed in such a way that you thought the designer thinks all women's feet end in a point. I can't imagine wearing those all day! Then again, I go to work in my old running shoes. Between the three stores I felt that Kate Spade had just thrown up, and HBO had just finished shooting a Sex and the City episode starring that Charlotte character. The date was really nice - saw an old "friend" from Vassar - we ignored each other, as many VC grads do in this city, until he was forced to say hi because he was on his way out, and our table was right next to the door. John Schurgin. Haven't seen him in a long long time-and yet in the two minute conversation we had he managed to get in the following to Marc: "Watch out for Vassar girls-they're high maintenance" Good 'ol John Schurgin. Thanks, John. While the statement may in fact be true - I don't want Marc to know for shit's sake. Crap. Reading this guy is like trying to decipher my bosses' handwriting on a deck she worked on while eating breakfast, driving her car over the GWB. I think he's too married to his work, which is not cool. BUT, we'll see. I'm just afraid I'm going to scare him away, but then that's what I always think-and, nine times out of ten I do. Oh, and I quit smoking. AGAIN. ---- Right now I'm staring at this quote I found from Judy Garland, "Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else." Between this, and a conversation I had with a friend the other night about who I am and how I need to accept me for me, I'm pretty satisfied.
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